Getting yourself worked up into a “hot visceral state” moments before being exposed to opportunity makes it almost impossible to resist temptation. Here’s how it works.
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Ever been in one of those weird situations where you say to yourself, “This is a terrible idea and not what I want, but I’m going to do it anyway”?
You have your goals, your dreams, and the habits you’re building. But, every day, you’re faced with a number of decisions that will either propel you closer to them or carry you further away. Will you eat the salad you packed for lunch, or will you cheat and head out for fast food? Will you work on the important project or goof around on the Internet? Will you struggle through the day without your cigarette, or will you give in and put yourself back at square one?
Sometimes, you succeed and take a step forward. Others, you fail, and take a step back. But what dictates if you’ll succeed or fail when temptation strikes? How can you tell when your willpower will carry you or not? Can you predict it?
That’s what a group or researchers from Northwestern University wanted to know. To test, they sat a group of male college students down — students who said they were in happy, committed relationships — and had them watch 10 minutes of porn.
That sounds crazy all by itself, but what they learned was even more shocking: you can predict someone’s ability to resist temptation by observing just one thing about them.
What is that one thing, and how can it help you become a master of your own willpower? Keep reading to find out.
Can Wandering Eyes Predict Relationship Failure?
In the late 90s, a researcher by the name of Rowland Miller studied a handful of men with partners by asking them how committed they were to their relationships. Then, he had them look at pictures of attractive women, and recorded how long they spent investigating the photos.
Two months later, the men were asked, “Are you still in your relationship?” Turns out, there was no correlation between how committed the men said they were before and their current relationship status. But guess where there was a correlation? Men who spent the least time inspecting the pictures were more likely to report that, yes, they were still in their relationship and, yes, they were still happy.
Sounds like a classic case of social comparison. As Miller noted in his research, “Even if the grass is greener on the other side of the fence, happy gardeners will be less likely to notice.”
But wait… what does this have to do with overcoming temptation?
How Your Brain Chemistry Affects Your Willpower
Fast forward to 2011, when Loran Nordgren and Eileen Chou — psychological researchers at Northwestern—built on top of this study with another experiment. The question: Can your current mood (aka visceral state) determine how likely you are to give into the temptation that’s been proven to erode your relationship?
The answer: Yes, absolutely.
To test it, they gathered another group of men in relationships and divided them into two groups who were either shown 10 minutes of an… erm… “erotic film” or a comparatively PG alternative — a fashion show. Then, they split the groups again — four different groups now — and showed them pictures of attractive women.
Here’s the twist. One group was told nothing about the women in the pictures — they were just a bunch of good-looking strangers. But the other group? Well, they were told the pictures were of women who’d be enrolling in their classes in the coming semester (to give the impression they could meet them, increasing temptation).
The men who were in a hot visceral state—the guys who watched the porn — spent more time, well, “inspecting the neighbor’s garden.” Worse, the greater the temptation, the more time they devoted to the destructive inspection. Not terribly surprising, but good to know: when you’re in an agitated state, you’re more likely to give into temptation.
Here’s where it really gets interesting. The guys who watched the benign fashion show—the ones in a cold visceral state — spent less time focusing on the attractive women in the pictures the greater the temptation became. It was like they had a superpower allowing them to pull away the greater and more dangerous they became instead of the opposite —being sucked in by the tractor beam.
What does this mean? To avoid temptation and enjoy a happy and fruitful relationship, you need to keep yourself in a cold visceral state when temptation comes calling.
How To Keep Yourself Cool When Temptation Gets Hot
In terms of beating temptation, this is a big breakthrough. And it doesn’t just apply to relationships. The same study that focused on men and their relationships also studied smokers to prove your response to temptation is similar in any area of your life.
So how do you beat it?
Simple. To lead a happy life where you accomplish your goals, build good habits and, apparently, stay married or not smoke too much, you have to keep yourself in a cool visceral state. That means avoiding situations that would get you worked up just before being confronted by temptation.
You have to understand your triggers and your own psychology so that you can stay one step ahead of it.
- Don’t expose yourself to media with a strong sexual charge before spending time with attractive colleagues.
- Avoid arguing with your partner before leaving on a business trip.
- Don’t go to the convenience store after work when you’ve craved a cigarette all day.
- Don’t head to the restaurant looking for “healthy options” when you’re ravenous.
- Stay away from department stores when you’re upset about money.
Whatever temptation it is you face, find the triggers that agitate you into a hot visceral state, and focus on avoiding those. When you do, you’ll automatically start to beat your temptations because you’ll avoid them before they have a chance to derail your plans. Even better? The stronger the temptation gets, the better equipped you’ll be to power through it.
Ah, the wonders of science!
Do This Right Now
In the comments, let us know one temptation you struggle with and one trigger that puts you into a hot visceral state — the one that removes your temptation defenses. Then, make a quick and simple plan for avoiding it. Your future self will thank you.
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This article originally appeared on Riskology.co
Photo credit: Al Ibrahim/flickr
The post How to Avoid Giving into Temptation appeared first on The Good Men Project.